Happy V-day.

These heart-shaped doughnuts reminded me just what it had to be... Valentine's day isn't just for canoodling couples. It's about love as a universal element of everyday life. Hmmm, ok, that's a little too improbable, but heck... I wasn't not gonna go tuck my head underneath my red heart pillow and cry myself to sleep while some Boys2Men classic drives me pathetically nuts. Why not have some festive doughnuts instead? Ms. Dulan's Krispy Kremes were just timely. Not that I had to see pink pastries to lighten up my perception of it, but this sweet gesture comes from an unrepentant unmarried woman, hence, I just couldn't help but feel the guilt when my young is already bitching about not celebrating the day with a certain someone. So thanks, Ms. Dulan -- though there's a slim to none chance you'll be able to read this, but still -- for being such a positive influence to my childish Valentine's Day prejudice. I've been feeling dispirited the past couple of days (not solely because of being alone, romantically), and I can't thank you (and also Ellen's Valentine monologue), enough for being a mother when I needed one. You and your pink doughnuts totally rock!

But just when I thought I won't be bothered again, a blast from the past craps my mailbox...


Omarion's Ice Box... Ok, what the fuck is this supposed to mean?
Well, not really interested. So yeah, after seeing the video (which was very sexy, by the way), I threw the junkmail right to where it belongs. Let's just say he's my Spencer to my Heidi (The Hills). I'm fed up, I went out. He's struggling, I don't care. The only difference is that, Heidi's too fragile to be unattached and I'm not that dumb to go back. Seriously! Who wants a smelly Filipino from the alleys of Atlanta when you can get the steamiest Latinos in Texas? Hahahaha.Ü

Single life rules!!! Can't stress it enough. Drew Barrymore, you're my new curvy hero. I love you! Hope you all had a fabulous time today, tied or untied. I certainly did... with my iron and still suffering ironing board. Haha, no kidding. Anyway, vday & this layout, officially retired. Later, bitches!

Happy trails, January!

Ms. Dulan: Happy February, y'all!
Rutendo: Happy what?
Me: Happy February too!
[clueless South African slash Englander]
Rutendo: Do you really say that here?
Ms. Dulan: Nah, just thought I'd say that.

Which obviously just had to remind me of my current lonesomeness. While most of those smooching couples will share a fancy dinner and a little sumthin'-sumthin' on the day, I will most likely spend that particular night watching American Idol with beer/soda and something else fattening.

Ok, not that I'd be emo-ing out the whole time. I'd probably talk to a friend, listen to Charlie Wilson's "Without You" three consecutive times, and frown intensely for a couple of hours, thinking that I should be a part of that celebrating geographic. But that's just about it. I'm pretty sure my Algrebra instructor would leave me something to work with on that sorrowful night. Probably the only time I'll ever be thankful for her beloved numerals.


Cold Valentine's

Weird as it may seem, it's been snowing here lately in DFW. Four times in one season, let alone three in a month!!! Although it's ideally fun to see and experience snow, it could be such a pain in the ass when you're out. Especially when you're inexplicably loaded with electrons.


And do we really need to spend another holiday... cold... and alone? I don't think so!
Forecast says though that there's an abundace of sunshine over the weekend. Abundance! Haha, I don't know how abundant that will be but that should be joy. Even if it means that we're bound to endure yet another barbarous Texas summer. Gee, we just get the best of both worlds, don't we? Regardless, I cannot wait to put '06-'07 sweater days to perspective and bring on the fashion! As Emily [from The Devil Wears Prada] perfectly puts it: interest in fashion is crucial. Yes! Even if you're fat!

Ok, my sentences don't come cohesive anymore. It must be the ice-cold water my brother handed me at 27°F midnight weather. Oh, brothers. I'm headed for a paperwork-load weekend. Hope you have fun with yours!

Rainy Days on Mondays

If I may have appeared merciless in the previous post, I apologize. But I believe I have proven a beyond valid point. Nevertheless, I'm in no position to sway my friend's emotions to a certain way that would only feed my concerns. She has complete control of herself, wether she chooses to be assertive or continuously be naive, I shall not care. In line of Vayie's advice, I must ignore her. She's a person of right age, therefore, she should know better. Plus, I'm no spongebob.

Actually, I've pondered about the numbers thing before going to bed last night just to verify what I've said in the previous entry. You know what, I'm absolutely right! Haha, not that it super matters, but it only tells me that I'm theoretically the kind of woman who would dispose a couple of year's worth, or even more, of being with a person who scumbagged me to begin with. It just can never be enough measure of a relationship. I can't deny though that the longevity, with the memories that it hauls, is all that easy to scrap, of course not, but I don't think it's the toughest job to throw everything over your shoulder when the connection doesn't work anymore.

One thing that certainly elevated my view was my parents' situation prior to their marriage. They met through common friends, and after a month of dating, they got married. Yes, that immediate. And just for the record, my mother wasn't pregnant when she got hitched, nor was it fixed. I never seeked for details causing the hastiness because my mom couldn't figure out the perfect way to execute an explanation, hence her timeless joke, "pinikot niya kasi ako!". And since I couldn't get anything from her, I settled on the perceivable fact that it was simply the progeny of their overwhelming love and admiration for each other. I thwarted my opinion on numbers once I've learned about this, and as you can see, my point has been tested and proven.

You also can't blame those who readily, and at certain urgencies, selfishly dissolve an aged relationship because somebody, who they believe is the right one, unanticipatedly comes into the picture. You know, that certain love song, "It's sad to belong to someone else, when the right one comes along", exactly like that. Quite a trap to be in, but yet again, it only tells you that a 2, 5, 10 year old relationship can go down to tubes if and/or when you discover that your behalf is not the destined person for you to spend your whole life with. Um, yes, I'm corny like that. I believe in destiny. I'm a fatalist, just so you know.

As I've mentioned, I'm really looking forward to see The Last Kiss. I think my theories on numbers and destiny are somehow exhibited in this film. Moreso, the quirks of becoming of age. Making choices, having doubts, choosing the right person to be with. Stuff like that.


Go, check it and the effin' awesome soundtrack too!

It's just numbers, dude.

How do you tell a friend that the person she longs for is full of bullshit? Quite a challenge, yeah?

Story starts when I had the time to talk to a good friend recently, whom I haven't been in touch with for a long time. Expectedly, we had an awesome time catching up, anecdotes from present in-ring romances to our friends getting impregnated one by one. But this certain topic that dominated our chatter was regarding her situation with her boyfriend slash ex-boyfriend of which I firmly condemn. I know, not my business, but as the intrusive friend that I am, I felt I needed to enlighten her of what could be the internal wreckage that currently centers their relationship.

Before I go any further, I don't infringe the confidentiality within the people involved by not saying their names, and how and when I met them. I'm only relaying to you circumstances that you may figure a relevance with. And in true Elle Woods fashion... I have a point, I promise.

To cut the long story short, the real situation is this... They broke up after a 2 year old relationship largely because of the guy's immutable playful nature that had been excessive and redundant, resultantly provoking the girl to end it completely. Of course, I liked what she did, it's a woman's job to dump, but supposedly, guy is trying to win her back, with innumerrable tactics, to say the least. Fine, it's totally lucid, moving on from somebody you've been canoodling with for 2 years is not a piece of cake. However, how can you be sure that he's finally sincere this time? In our small talk, she was trying to say that she wants to give him YET another try. I was just like, "seriously??". I was guilelessly astounded. Like, are you dumb or something? Well, sure, she still loves him yadda yadda yadda, but why? If a guy doesn't take your commitment earnestly, once, twice, thrice... dude, it's about time to give him back to his momma.

You might say I may be a little too inconsiderate, but I'm a woman too, and I believe I know how it feels like. It's just not about letting go, it's also about retaining a little pride to yourself. Girls are not video games. That when you get corpsed on the first stage, you can turn the machine off and just try to get passed it another day. Same old shit over and over again. It should be tiring, yeah? Hence I'm intensely perplexed about her standpoint in this. I don't know what that guy fed my friend, but she seriously needs some rehabbing of some sorts. You know what, when I asked her what keeps her from conclusively unattaching herself, she simply replied, "sayang ang two years, e!". You can only imagine the words that raced out my spaghetti hole. It's only numbers, dude!

Far Away

Don't you just hate it when a single song you overhear from the radio can abruptly tear you up? I'm possibly the least sentimental person on earth, and I don't get mushy as a normal girl does. But as I was rethinking my day before going to bed last night, this track by Nickelback played, and with the DJ's advice to attentively listen to the lyrics, I indeed methodically did.

"That I love you. I have loved you all along.
And I miss you. Been far away for far too long.
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go.
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore."

It's weird how it can affect your emotions too much. As I've said, I'm not the most mawkish type of person at all, hence my bewilderment. But feasibly, it just darts through you when it literally or metaphorically defines what you really feel towards something, towards someone.

I apologize for being discreet about the catalyst of my being effusive, but I don't normally open up here anyway. The mere reason why I'm sharing this sentiment is that I know that a lot of you can definitely relate. Filipinos, in general, love music, especially those that speak of what really does happen in reality. Ideally, songs can only do so much - Lighten you up, suddenly make you frown, or even help you get over something. And needless to say, I love its chore of conventionally making us feel a certain way. It is quite contributive. Perhaps, writing a song can be another maneuver to vent out strong affection, yeah? Maybe I'll give it a try.

He's gotta be bad.

I admit, I'm positively one of the few ones who believe that first love indeed dies, eventhough it would be an absolute delight to see Britney and Justin back together. That's definitely sweet, but I just can't see myself being reunited with my first love. Ever.

Saw his most recent photo around Friendster and to my dismay, he grew his hair and changed his style, in other words, he looked drastically different. Totally not my type, not that it matters, and not that it's the only thing I'm after. But no matter how I loathe his semblance of mature image, I still have to say that he's undoubtedly one of the nicest guys I've ever met in my life. He always made me feel noteworthy, and was probably the closest thing to a prince charming a preteen Snow White could ask for. But the thing is, he was too nice! Our puppy love blommosed in 4th grade, nothing really serious, as it waned eventually. We met again in high school, where I was totally the opposite of what I was when he met me, but in junior year, I somehow found out that I was still in his pursuit. Like, what? If a guy is not over you after 5 years, there's something wrong. And it quite freaked me out.

Therefore, if you're the typical nice guy who always has the most difficult time of letting go, then you're totally not for me. I know, what the heck, right? Maybe you're totally misunderstanding my point. I'm not looking for a guy who has a crapload of tattoos all over his engine, nor a guy who has piercings even down to his balls. I'm only wanting a guy who won't be afraid to not compromise. One that can battleshit with me, curse me once in a while, someone that can take me to some place unimaginable. A God-fearing daredevil, a family-oriented son of a bitch, and a respectful-to-his-wife badass. Oh boy, how I wish I can program my eventual husband. *sigh*

On a completely irrelative note, I just witnessed another piece of history last Friday. I think I found my dream guy. Ha! I'm such a laughingstock... Travis Pastrana, perfectly landing the first ever Moto X double backflip in X games history. Yes, a kiss of death. I think I just described him precisely in the previous paragraph, hahaha. I'm dreamy. Fine. I'll stop.


I think I love him. Hahaha! *zips kisser*

What about love?

Inspired by both Vayie's latest entry and a recent discussion I overheard from the KiddKraddick In The Morning Show. I will try not to be mushy and cheesy, that would be totally uncharacteristic. Trust me.

It all started with a simple letter written by a listener which tackled her fiancee, who was getting a job in New England, and the life that was then being offered to her by his eventual better half. The guy wanted her to dump her present job, and fly to where he's at so they both could try to embark a new journey together. The girl hesitated, not wanting to leave her moneymaker behind. The following week, she heard a knock on her door only to find out that her fiancee ditched the new career just so he can be by her. She was elated. However, two days later, her boyfriend got into a car accident that put his life in jeopardy. He was awfully injured that he had to get his legs cut. The girl had to take care of her boyfriend, that ensuingly cost her her job as well. The letter ended with her narration of how pitiful it is to watch his fiancee undergo therapy with those metal walkers, and how life would have been so much better had she only followed him to New England. And for the record, they are still together.

Ah. The Power. Of. Love. How can we spell the shit any better.

I'm your average youngster though, so I guess, it's a given that I've never been into a state of being so emotionally involved with a person my opposite sex, not that I have with a girl, haha. Safely, I've never been that in love. I think it would take a lot for me to actually be so attached to a guy, much less, to live with him before being blessed by the sacrament of matrimony. But it somehow fascinates me. In a way that it makes me more curious by the day of how serious true love can really go.

True love, on another way, frightens me. Like in a case of overpowering jealousy. I take Benicio of Sa Piling Mo as a solid example. He gets jealous over the simplest things, and he couldn't find a better way of channelling his outrage other than to be hitting his wife. It's pathetic on the guy's part, and horrifying for the woman's. I know that circumstances such as that inevitably happen in real life, and God knows, I will leave a man that attempts to punchbag me in a blink of an eye. But is that kind of wrath can ever still be considered as a condiment of true love? I don't think it's normal. See, it's all in the confusion bubble. Or have I just been extra indulged with my daily dose of telenovelas?

Eitherway, I do believe in true love. I know, I promised not to be all mushy, but give me a break. This is the first time EVER I'm blogging about the damn topic anyway. Going back... It is a crazy part of life to be involved in, to say the least. But it is also the most fruitful of all things. I can only wish that in the future, I can find a man who will love me and my family whole-heartedly. Apart from the cheesy stuff, a man that has the balls to be the breadwinner of our destined offspring. I may be dreaming, but tell me, there are still guys like that left in the world, right? Fine. I'm being excessively delusional.

I guess I will have to live by the quote/song from 13 going on 30 for the time being.....
No promises. No demands. Love is a battlefield. Gee, now that is cheesy. Haha.