Tuesday, June 27, 2006

For no reason, actually.

So don't bother asking why I felt the need to make a new blog.

But welcome! I hope you won't discontinue reading my stuff. I appreciate it.

This past weekend had been mentally stressful for me. I had to undergo a lot of thinking concerning my future. Remember the time when elders would ask you, as a kid, "what do you want to be when you grow up?", I honestly can't remember any answer that I might have given to that question. But I could easily point out that I once dreamt of being a flight attendant, a dentist, a police woman, and a nun...yes, a nun. However, it is certain, that I thought of those professions insincerely, I was 5 for crying out loud. But when I look back, I want to blame myself for not taking the years ahead so damn seriously.

I could have said, "I want to be a doctor!" and stick by it, and if I had, then I could most likely be dorming right now in a prestigious med school in Austin. I could have been a productive young adult. But I'm currently not that. I'm a bum, no more, no less.

I talked to my Mama about this, and I straight-forwardly told her what bothers me. When asked, she basically replied, "do whatever you want...at suportahan ta ka". Eh, the instant nod you get from a supportive mother. In the past though, she would endlessly convince me to be a pediactric nurse, like her, because she knows I love kids, and I want a really good pay. But as much as I want to earn largely, I'm afraid I might not be able to stand its duties. I've told her about it, hence her undisturbed response. But she was slightly surprised by my follow-up, "Ma, gusto ko mag-scrubs e. Anything computer/machine-related?", she then narrated jobs that I would possibly love to do. I'm a techy, so this will eventually work. Besides, who does complain when an enormous amount cashes in every two weeks. But in her words, I regain confusion. "No matter how high or low your wage is, it wouldn't matter as long as you enjoy what you do." I am still torn between the theories of wants and needs, but with God's blessing, hopefully I can immediately decide on my future.

Another random story...

I was watching Best Damn Sports Show Period last night, and Raja Bell was on. Mama suddenly cut in and uttered, "Sino yan, ang gwapo?" (who's that, he's cute). And I was like, "what?", well, I don't dislike the guy, he's a former Maverick, he's OK. But I never really thought of him as attractive until last night. It's funny because Mama would praise the guy's beautiful teeth and complexion, repeatedly, pretty much like a fangirl. But I'll tell you what, I was blown away by the way he dressed up. Very Carding! Uyy, may kinikilig diyan, haha! But I now find him cute. Still, not my type, but I wonder no more over Laureen's obsession, hehe.

I have to see Superman and The Devil Wears Prada. I missed The Lake House, but I will still try. Sometimes, being a bum, is quite a wondrous thing. *grins* Happy week ahead!


Senor Cheeseburger said...

I've got some great movie reviews of Superman, Devil Wears Prada and The Lake House @ my blog, you should check it out.

Just click on my name... do it... you know you want to.

russ.â„¢ said...

Hello Kai,
Of course I'd still be visiting your blog and reading your entries.Ü I got to see The Lakehouse over the weekend and I liked it, D didn't. Hehe. Imma watch The Devil Wears Prada on DVD. I dont remember seeing a poster of it in the movie house. Anyways, I hope all is well with you Kai. Take care!

cruise said...

lahat talaga dumadaan sa ganyang dilemma, take time to know kung ano ba talaga gusto mo, its good that you have a supportive Mom.

Kai said...

No, thanks. I mind getting spoiled.

Devil Wears Prada seems to be a cool movie, I hope you see it too! (:

I know. I'm the luckiest daughter on earth.

john said...

raja is cute ? tell that to kobe says the lakers fans .anyway, the graphics is awesome . i think you'll make a good career in arts !

bone said...

well, kai. im a bum too.. but what makes your situation better than mine? you live with your own family, for one. :)
just like you, i wanna earn big time but im afraid of big duties as well.. but my friend is right, "tangek! kung dito ka sa amerika, hindi ka pwedeng duduwag duwag. dapat malakas ang loob mo." so anong say mo? kayanin natin to, mare.. hehe.
hmm.. The lake house is the last movie (so far) that my bro and i watched together. we both liked it. i dont like the book version of the devil wears prada, but im still going to try to see the movie.

bone said...

hmm.. we still havent work on my template hahaha. =) how r u?

HanAgiRL said...

me in a soap? hahaha! baka looks like me lang. :)

Debbie said...

hey kai...
it is therapeutic to update or redo ur blog to keep your mind of stressful issues for awhile. well at least you already know your way around photoshop or whatever program you're using. eh ako, i've been wanted to change my layout but i struggle with photoshop or maybe i just dont have the patience. naiinis na kasi ako kapag hindi ko magawa. since i only depend on the internet to teach me how it works, it takes awhile for me to come up with something...hehe as of now, i'm trying to create something retro. ohwell we'll see what happens..:)

about your career....i understand how it feels to choose between what you want vs need. how i wish we could all get a career that satisfies both. hope you find your path.....if u ask me, i think it is sometimes a matter of trial and error. test the waters first to see if u truly belong there or if you can at least earn money first and then later pursue your passion. it is a hard decision but i'm sure you'll find your way.

thanks for the advice. i'd love to move there, maybe at a later time. but believe me, i'd move over there in a snap if things are more stable already.

ok..this is getting too long. see ya 'round...tc

Debbie said...

i'm dying to watch "devil wears prada"..the trailer looks so inviting! wish i could read the book first though....

Kai said...

I think he's cute, hehe. Have you seen the show when he was on? Kobe was actually there, so weird. Haha, but he seemed to be friendly, and Raja was cool with it.

True. We can do this, tayo pa! (; About your layout, di mo pa sinasabi sa akin kung ano gusto mo. Just gimme an idea, I'll get started on it.

Perhaps. (:

If you need any help, you know you can go to me any day. (: Actually, the wage is what I'm most concern about. I really want to earn enormously, so I could stand on my own. If I pursue my graphic design career kasi, walang mangyayari sa akin. I'm just being practical. But yeah, maybe if I'm already financially stable, I can shift gun for what I truly want. God willing. (: Maybe you should convince your hubby even more, mas maayos talaga dito, Deb. Anyway, I don't read books, they make movies anti-climactic. Good for me, at least. Hehe.

Laureen said...

you moved! gotta love the posh template. mrs. beckham rocks =)

i think you'll do really well in media arts. you really should do something you have massive passion for. that's what i tell myself when people tell me i should shift to nursing. even though it'll bring me all that moolah, it isn't something i would really enjoy doing, and not to mention, study for (hello, it's too late to actually shift when i'm this far). do whatever you know you'd enjoy the most. ;)

raja! i missed the show, didn't even catch the replay. drats! but what did i do...? i headed over to BDSS website and found the video. hehe. fine indeed is mr raja bell. *sigh* thanks for letting me know he was on the show *BIGHUGS*

i didn't get to see The Lake House either. i wanna see The Devil Wears Prada & Superman, too. I love Meryl Streep. she & i have the same birthday. hehe.

have a great one, kai!

Kai said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kai said...

Thanks, girl! I really want to continue being a graphic designer, but I don't know. It's hard not to be practical kasi e. Don't worry, I'll keep what you said in mind. I don't know if they have both parts in the website, but lemme look around for you. (: I'm also excited for My Super Ex Girlfriend, I love Uma Thurman, and it looks like a fun movie. Daming pelikula, ang saya! d:

vayie said...

I had the same sentiments once. Especially when my life (love life, career, etc.) was on a plateau for a very long time. We were family of nurses, but I never pursued that because I don't see myself as a nurse. But some people would sometimes make me feel I could have been better (you know how much they pay Filipina nurses in the States, right?) if I went to that path.

Well, it will pass. Dilemmas would always be there but remember to live your life the way you wanted it. If you fail or succeed (I am hoping for the latter) at least, you did it on your terms. And quit regretting - it won't do you any good.

You're still young. Still so much in store for you. When I was your age, I was having a time of my life. Ü

Take Care, Kai. Smile always.

Kai said...

Thank you, Vayie! I greatly appreciate it.