Monday, June 11, 2007

Oh Paris!

It's on newspapers, television, numerous blogs, and even on SportsCenter. This whole Paris Hilton debacle is slowly getting out of hand that I just had to jump in the bandwagon before it dies down. After all, I'm her very own opinionated antagonist. But surprisingly, I'm singing a totally different tune with this one. Paris, as annoying as she has been for the past few years, has done nothing more than to pose without her draws on, and entertain us unfailingly with her dumb anecdotes. She might have been overdosing on alcohol, but not on drugs. She probably has had more boyfriends than the whole Barbados, but she's never had fatal sickness that resulted from unsafe sex. She couldn't have been anymore stupid with her every maneuver, but honestly, she's also never been too outspoken to disparage people underneath her celebrity (ie, you and me).

In other words, Paris has earned my sympathy. I might have, for one second, rejoiced when she was sentenced to jail time, but those tears of hers that were flowing like days-kept pee were agreeably sincere that it's now difficult to turn a blind eye on a woman who feels like morphing into Mother Theresa character all of a sudden. I'm serious, folks. I now firmly believe that Paris Hilton meant it when she said she won't "act dumb" any longer, AND that she "would like to make a difference." I know, it sounds like she's attempting to be Bono or Madonna. But I'm banking on a difference that would teach younger girls that exercising the use of bras and panties is healthy for the nipples and vagina. Ehh, you know what I mean.

Onto Paris, France where the impending GOAT in Federer, once again, failed to show up in another Roland Garros final against the relentless (yet uuuuber gorgeous) Rafael Nadal. I just can't seem to swallow the fact that only three weeks ago, I was shaking my head in complete disbelief while Rafa was losing a third set to Mighty Fed at love (zero). From then on, I was led to the popular myth that this could be TMF's time to shine. That he could finally be the star of all seasons. But I was, then again, proven wrong.

Honestly, Rafa played phenomenally, hence Mighty Fed's still existent consternation over this dolorous puzzle Nadal has trapped him in. As Pardon The Interruption's Mike Wilbon summed up best, "Can you be called the greatest player if another guy owns your butt? -- He owns him!" Ouch! We can make up all the arguments we want to set against that quote, but the fact that Rafa DOES own Fed on clay (and at a particular grand slam, no less) is a firm justification as to why Federer, at this point, doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as the Lavers and the Borgs. But unlike those journalists who quickly flip and flop, I digressively don't harbor any pessimism against the poor guy. Yes, Rafa deserved the win (by a landslide!) and that spot in tennis greats history but Fed is still the world's #1, something Nadal is not (yet) and I still consider the possibility of him, even an old hag, capturing that trophy his arch-rival has sank his teeth on for the past three years. If a hairless Andre Agassi did it at 29, then so can he.

And since we're talking about the French... Didn't you just cringe in excessive irate when ABC couldn't refrain from focusing on Eva Longoria's face every chance they got? My professor even had to point that out! Well, he wasn't nearly as enthused by the Spurs' annihilation of the Cavs, he only wanted to see Tony Parker (for some odd reason I don't want to cognize). But I digress.. He also mentioned another Tony he was fond of watching on a Sunday night. We discussed the atypical series finale of The Sopranos and how it resembled usual endings on other mediums of artwork. He's a theater geek, of course he easily appreciated it. I happen to not have watched this series, but I'm very critical of story endings, and this one, I didn't like. I frankly told him, " was like requesting a chef-made salad in a fancy restaurant yet being directed to the salad bar."

His geekiness somehow agreed but thwarted it in his favor by saying that it's fascinating how it's entirely open for different interpretations. While that must be arousing to another type of thinker, my inner PMS-ish bitch just couldn't help but murder his analogy at the back of my head. But instead, I politely replied, "But don't you think that this kind of denouement only works in movies? Because it's only like, 90 minutes long? This series has been running for YEARS! Wouldn't it just make sense that the writers could utilize more of their ideas and convey it through a nice little ending, instead of a family dinner fading to black??" And boom.. I think I just got a C in participation. I may differ with your perception of this ambiguous scenario -- heck, I don't even know much about David Chase and his geniuses -- but I would be screamingly furious if Grey's Anatomy, God forbid, feebly concludes the show just like that. Simply put, it's like being dumped by your boyfriend of 8 years with no apparent reason and you're forced to figure out who, what, how, and why.

And just so you know, in the battle of Tonys at primetime, I watched The Tony Awards. I know, I'm so gay. :-P


kat said...

David Chase did that on purpose. Suffice it to say, I think he was brilliant enough not to pander to the audiences and do a "neat tying up of loose ends" just b/c he was expected to. exasperating? oh yes! but it totally fit the whole series. it's like him saying tony will go on and live his mundane little life...

as for your job, missy! ahaha... i always wanted to work as waitress in an cafe, but glad you pointed out the bad parts of the service industry. i would do retail. my first job was at eddie bauer and then i spent 3 years working for the gap.

p.s. you feel bad for paris?! *gasp*
p.p.s who isn't sick of eva longoria's face? ugh <--as tim gunn would say.

Kai said...

Perhaps. Well, you know it better than I do. But dang, I wish they planted even just a little bit of blood bath in there. After all, it's The Sopranos, hehe.

Hell yeah! Haha, after a week of not surviving (to think that I was still in orientation), I can now say I'll never go back to working in that kind of environment again. Retail should fit me best, if being bubbly and stacking clothes are all I'll get paid for, why not. :P

Have you seen Eva without make-up? Ugh, frightening! Hahaha. And dude, I'd rather root for Paris than for Lindsay Lohan whose life is going somewhere only the cocaine gods know. :))

clare said...

i actually feel sorry rin for paris, but i think she needed this wakeup call. nothing less will do to shake her back to reality, pun intended. lol!

naku eva without makeup made me wonder what jc chasez saw in her...but then again after seeing her in a bikini i figured it out. hahaha!

Anonymous said...

eh...i don't buy it...she'll go back to her old ways as soon as she steps into the comforts of her home...i think..i don't know, i guess i'm just sooooo sick of these ungrateful brats already, well everybody is.

hey kai...know any good home baked cupcakes? here in l.a.?


Cheenee said...

haha! see you at wimbledon indeed. :P

and oh... when i saw that pic, i was moved... awww... there's always something good in each person. :)

Vayie said...

I know some people could be a little skeptical with Paris' recent statement on how she's gonna get her act together.

I say, all we can do is just wait and see. If she's truly changed, applause. If not, and she gets back to her crazy, wild self again, applesauce.

Elaine said...

Yeah, this Paris thing isn't dying down yet. Kahit dito sa Pinas, balita yan sa Daily 10. Haha. I actually feel sorry for her. Kaya lang, parang lahat nalang sila ganyan. Ang hirap din maawa, kasi parang feeling nila kaya nilang gawin lahat dahil mayaman sila.

Oooh, the rich. How they mock you. Hehe.

Anyway, unti-unti ko nang nagugustuhan si Rafa dahil sayo. Kahit hindi ako nanonood ng tennis. Haha!

bone said...

whats going on? im totally clueless as usual. haha. you quit your job? (ya, totally unrelated to this entry!)

hellgod said...

I disagree about Rafa owning Fed's butt. Rafa doesn't own Fed at all. Rafa beats Fed on clay, hands down. But put them on grass and Fed will make mince meat of Rafa. Put them on indoor carpet or hard courts and Fed will beat Rafa 7 of 10 times.

The only reason Nadal has more wins over Federer is because they usually meet on clay which is Nadal's best surface and Federer's worst (yet Fed still manages to reach the finals), while on all the other surfaces, Nadal usually loses before the final, so Federer doesn't get the chance to show his mettle over Nadal on a non-clay surface. They've met 7 times on clay and only once on grass. If they had 7 matches on grass as well, you can bet their h2h record would be about even. So no, Nadal doesn't own Federer.

Whew, haba ah, parang blog entry :))

As for Paris, I think its necessary for her to go through all this. You can't really change as a person if you don't go through life-changing experiences, right? And that's a nice point you give about Paris. As much as she's been turned into the universal village idiot, you won't really hear her retaliating on the public that mocks her.

Kai said...

Were they really together? Haha, the oddest couple you'd see!! But yeah, she looks really scary without make-up on. :))

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking but who am I to yield her psuedo u-turn? Hehe.. I read somewhere that Sprinkles has got one of the best cupcakes out there. I haven't tried them, but I've tried one once at Auntie Em's, they're good, and it's just around Eagle Rock.

Deal. :P

You can't be sure. When you saw Osama Bin Laden crying, you can't say that there's something good in that particular person. Haha. Just playing.

Yep, I did. And oh, I was just talking about Paris Hilton, tennis and Tony Soprano. The usual stuff. ;)

Kai said...

WOAH. Wait a second.. Have you even read what I said? Word by word, account by account? Because it sounds to me that you quickly and unhesitatingly jumped right on me and pounded me with your displayed fury. I understand, it might be tough getting through this Fed-loses-to-Rafa-AGAIN hurdle, but dude, loosen up! You totally missed the point.

First of all, I did not say Nadal owns Federer. I did say, however, that Rafa owns Roger ON CLAY. And let me quote myself.

"We can make up all the arguments we want to set against that quote, but the fact that Rafa DOES own Fed on clay (and at a particular grand slam, no less) is a firm justification as to why Federer, at this point, doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as the Lavers and the Borgs."

Secondly, you are only one of the few breathing specimens on earth who sees this quite lopsidedly. Federer is great, I get that -- damn, I even stacked bets for him and he lost it. Nobody will disagree with you on that. Period. But me, the media, and the majority of fans see the reality that Federer couldn't simply find a way to beat Nadal in Paris. And that's just exactly what I relayed on this entry.. and boom, you ranted like I said Federer bombed like Marat in the second round. Hello?

And lastly, no matter how crafty Federer is on other surfaces, (and note, you DO remember that Rafa had beaten him twice on hards, right? Not that it matters...) the sad fact that he couldn't get a grasp of that Coupe des Mousquetaires is what will always linger on our minds, at least until he collects his fifth Wimbledon title.

Nevertheless, I think it's pretty unfair how me, you, Johnny Mac and Mary Carillo spent the last three days thinking and talking about how poorly Federer fought, when we should be celebrating a magnificent feat in men's tennis history.

Anonymous said...

yup i did try auntie em's it's deelish but i was too late for their chocolate cupcakes, they were out. i better go there in the morning or something...their red velvet is really good.


hellgod said...

Kai, I didn't say it clearly in my comment, I meant I disagree with what Pardon The Interruption's Mike Wilbon said re: "Can you be called the greatest player if another guy owns your butt?". I think he was basically just basing that comment on the statistics of Rafa's wins over Fed on clay, and not on the whole picture (that they're about even on hard courts, and Fed is king on grass) :)

Talamasca said...

Criminal on the loose!

I'm the Monopoly Guy! Go to jail! Go directly to jail! Do not pass go! Do not collect $200! LOL!

Paris deserves to be in jail. But not THAT horribly long. It's just reckless driving, fer Christ's sakes! Stupid American law. But anyway, just for that single photo, she got a hold of your sympathy? LOL! Just LOL!

Eva Longoria is Eva Longoria! Whew! Of course they'd take every chance! *drooling*

Ah, The Sopranos! The last scene was just totally amazing! I flat out loved it! It will keep everyone talking about the show, y'know. And it kinda pissed me off at the same time but it was a good way for everyone to get the ending they want. So who needs closure? I'll kick your ass if you say "I do!" ;-p

Kai said...

Wait, wait. Are you preggers? Naglilihi ka ba? :P

Excuse my ranting, bro. It's just not the best idea to disagree with a PMS-ing woman. Sorry about that. But to Mike Wilbon's defense, he clearly has a point -- from the H2H record to the no-win-in-Paris for Fed. In a way, Rafa owns Roger, and he's totally right when he said that quote. Because if you realize, nobody owned Rod Laver and Bjorn Borg in their times, whichever surface we're talking about.

Ekkk, not really. I think I pointed out a couple of things or so why I sympathize with her. And it's not just about the photo. Just LOL.. Eww! You like Eva? That's shameful! :)) And I quote Nigel Lythgoe, "I want a little bit more of a story... It was like seeing The Sopranos and missing out on the end!" See? I wasn't nearly the only one. :P

Alternati said...

I totally can't find your e-mail address in your blog. Sooo...

I hid the "questions" in your "10 Reasons" Comment box. tee hee...

Anonymous said...

nope...haha just craving for sweets..


Alternati said...

Amazing train of thought from the Paris(es) to the Tony(ies)

I don't feel sympathy at all for the heiress, I have something against people who are richer, thinner and have longer hair than me. It's something pathological I guess.

In your face Federer! Spurs winning again... meh. I am so anti people winning all the time. It's something pathological I guess.

On the Tony's MVP win, I've never liked Duncan's boring presence on court, but I've always found him efficient. I guess wearing a desperate housewife on your arm adds MVP points.

I totally snagged Tony Soprano for my current 13th list. hehe... I've watched several episodes of the show, but I've never truly been hooked. I guess it's because it wasn't available on local cable when it started.

Althoug I haven't watched a single Tony awards show, I have watched numerous musicals that won them... I am so gay (too) LOL

Talamasca said...

Of course I like Eva... my bed! LOL. ;-p

Kai said...

Ugh, Thank God there's someone out there who also thinks that Duncan should've been the MVP in the finals! But whatever, I'm so tired of the Spurs. I want me some new blood! Tennis is a different thing though, I was pulling for Federer to win on clay, so Rafa can find that edge to beat him on grass. Haha, I'm so weird like that. :p Yay for gayness! Love being one, hehe.

Sige na nga... ;)

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