If anything in my life has significantly changed over the years, apart from my nicotine exit, it's gotta be my intractable exclusive-girl-school-mean-bitch-syndrome. I didn't grow up with girls mostly surrounding me, but I did hang out with mostly girls in my early years. That said, panlalait or ridiculing has been a habitual pastime for me and my peers. And having a mom who's just as leniently direct rather tolerated my hostile tongue.
In that particular part of the intermediate community, mockery, sarcasm, and panlalait are altogether their 3rd language. You can ask anybody who hail from Poveda, MC, SPC, etc., and I guarantee you, they'd absolutely agree. Maybe because boys weren't obviously around that they had to keep themselves entertained by making fun of the other girls. I still don't know. But although it was somewhat fun, I knew it had to eventually change.
And since I've already put that negative trait in perspective, I'm now in the process of learning how to politely say something unpleasant to people. I know, still sounds bad, but trust me, my intentions are better than that.
For instance, I've got this friend who bought a Paris Hilton perfume, and I think it smells like shit. How can I tell him that it smells awful in a way that he'd never get offended? Should I go, "man, that just stinks!", or "I can't believe you bought this over the Britney one"? Apparently, I'm still in the midst of unattaching my character to that mean girl syndrome, therefore, I can't believe I'm having such a hard time figuring out this simple "dude, you smell incredibly bad" predicament.
And before I get sued or anything, the Paris Hilton perfume situation is just a concrete example. But you know what I mean. It's simply a mere situation when you want to tell a good friend that his new haircut looks like a horrible version of Garth Algar's... and of course, the dilemma that inescapably comes with it.
Honestly, it's just one of the million things trapped in my mouth that I would want to lay all out in the future. But I don't know how! It's not a self-centered gesture though, right? Or is it? I just thought it'd be nice if I could be my old forthright self again, just with a little bit more tact and ethics this time. If I may sound like an inconsiderate narcissistic bitch, I apologize. That's far off what I'm gunning for. Nobody's perfect, who is? But as someone who exists in the same air as my pals breathe in, I can only have nothing but good intentions of sincerely just wanting them to look, smell, speak, think and feel better about themselves.