Saturday, September 30, 2006

My brain is bigger than my boobs.

Or something like that. Remember? That infamous Joyce Jimenez line?

Anyway. Finally, I have something to discuss with you about. I'm sorry, my mind has been wandering some place for quite a while there, but I'm back on. As you all know, I'm leading a pretty boring life nowadays, but thankfully, interesting stuff keep hovering my thinkbox even on listless days. So let me lay one out right now...

I was watching The View yesterday, and the women were talking about how Botox, and plastic surgery as a whole, have become an epidemic addiction to most of aging America. Joy and Barbara admittedly shared their Botox tales and how it positively affected their personal lifestyles, self confidence and how it made them look younger (which isn't that visible, anyway). I was just like, well, that's ok. I guess. They've got the money, so why not spare it on something that they wish would make them look anymore attractive. And like I care about these stupid celebrities. But the bigger picture here is what I'm dwelling on.

My mother would constantly talk about her officemates who are all so eager to get boobjobs. As the soon-to-be-49 that she is, and with a rather deflated rack, she'd jokingly ask me over and over again if she could ride the bandwagon. Well, if she was 29, maybe I'd allow her, but at her age now, the risk just wouldn't make sense. Plus, having a small package didn't seem to have affected my dad for the past soon-to-be-25 years of their marriage, so I'm completely sure, he could bare with it for 25 more, you know what I mean. But I know that she's only joking, or at least half the time she is. Back to topic. I seriously don't get the obsessive vanity these people are drowing themselves into, that they'd suffer a mere couple of hours having some random guy, with a convincing surgical gear, vigorously insert monstrous plastic balloons into their chests, just to turn heads (pun may be intended). Moreso, did I hear that there's already stuffing for butts too? Jesus Christ, what in the world! I was told that John Estrada had his bottom done, which made a guy friend of ours invest interest into having his done too. I can't believe even men are now drawn into this insanity. What, do they think that having an upholstered butt would get them laid more? I don't think so.

And as for those who've made plastic surgery a weekly trip to the spa. I've seen some faces, and honestly, they don't look any good to me. Like this woman who appeared on Oprah last season. She looks like a gordy barbiedoll with an almost erupting upper lip. She talks very nasally, and couldn't even express herself very well due to her robotic facial muscles, let alone those tattoed eyebrows. Ouch! Guess how young the lady is. She's only 28! But look, she's like 12 years her senior with manly features. Seriously, what do these people get from this? Don't they see that they look, oh forgive me lord, fugly?? I mean, really ugly. As Noah perfectly said in The Notebook, "Science can only go so far, then comes God". See? That's what you get for completely ruining what God gave you to start with.

In case you'd ask... if I were given a chance to go under the knife, would I go for a lipo? No, 'cuz I don't like the idea of metal sticks getting into my fats just like what they do to pigs. If anything, I'll subtract, contrary to the trend. Perhaps, breast reduction. Trust me, having quite a gifted rack has been one of the most difficult things I have to deal with everyday, hence my bewilderment over those skinny girls who are painstakingly getting theirs done, with 4-pounder plastic jellos no less. That oughtta be heavier. Passive suicide just to look enticing? Genius!

From the collageneous attempts of having Jolie-ish lips, to the potentially painful injections extracting fat from the sacks below your eyes, and to the fake hair for those who didn't survive the battle of splitends. Seems like every beauty deficiency now has its corresponding scientific resolution. And it can only get worse.

20 comments:

Franco said...

Good work, very nice blog. Seems you enjoy working with/ on the internet. And
if something like that even pays off well, it would be even better, woulnd't it?

I chose you because you convinced meby all the effort you put into it. That
really convinced me.
For further information please look up my site www-franco.blogspot.com Please get more information
on....see the video!

Tani said...

plastic surgery is something i may try in the distant future. for now, i'm all for natural and organic ways.
that girl in that oprah episode sure looks scary.

vaNINski said...

urgh. cosmetics here. surgery there. here, there, everywhere!

still, i think natural beauty is best. :D

iskoo said...

if i have extra money i would probably buy an expensive state of the art threadmill, instead of having plastic ballon on my chest and butts.. hahaha

Kai said...

Franco
No, thanks!

Tani
Haha, I know, right? She looks like a man.

Vaninski
Agreed.

Iskoo
Or get a trainer and nutritionist instead, right? Gee, I can't imagine sitting comfortably with plastic in my buttcheeks. Hahaha!

ish said...

no way! i wouldnt spend money for that, i dont think i will feel comfortable knowing there's a foreign object inside my body.

Vayie said...

Since I'm not blessed with the twin peaks, I honestly contemplated on getting a boob job.

Talk your mom out of it, maybe she's just "swayed" by her friends to get one.

jassy said...

I don't think I would consider plastic surgery if I can get away with it. But let's say there's an accident that destroy my face or body, then I'd agree to plastic surgery, but not when I'm healthy.

Hey, I was thinking about the new series Superheroes, maybe it would be better if the setting is the present. That some people have gifts that they don't realize that they have--for example, that girl that could kill with her mind. It would be interesting and people would even think about their own gifts and maybe think about honing it.

Anyway, have a nice week!

charles ravndal said...

Well, I am not into plastic surgery to alter things but I am pro to like laser or microdermabrasion or whatever so my skin would look healthier and have this flawless glow. That is so far the most important thing that I could think of, my skin. lol!

It is true that it is somewhat hard to have big boobs and take it on my aunt who has 36 DD size.

Kai said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kai said...

Ish
Same here! ;)

Vayie
Girl, you look fine, I swear. And about my mom, haha. As long as I'm alive, she's never gonna have something done.

Jassy
Actually dear, it's Heroes. It's set at present time, maybe you misundertood my review. I was just saying that this show somehow depicts what could possibly be normal in the future. But setting is the present, with the story revolving around these characters who as you know have acquired superpowers. Interesting stuff, you should watch.

Charles
Ow, you do that? Aren't you yet too young for those stuff? But hey, it's cool, I think, that you're vain. I think that's one of the girl qualities lacking in me, hehe. And oh, your aunt's got some package too, haha! :))

m0nai said...

hello! nice blog you got here. I like Grey's anatomy, too! take care!

Debbie said...

i often think and talk about it with my family. it's nice to fantasize about the parts we'd like to "restructure" if we had the money. i personally like to get a nosejob, but it's all a bluff. the risk of getting a botched job isn't worth it. i guess i'm just too scared to go under the knife. and i think the moment you start fumbling with what God gave you, there's always a possibility that you can't get contented anymore(although there are some who get satisfied with just one) coz there will always be "Something" to fix. like little miss barbie up there. she couldnt even see the difference anymore, maybe it's kind of addicting. but to people like barbie they already have psycho problems.

with your mom..i think it's kind of cute..haha i admire oldies who still like to be hip. i mean, they still want new things, meron kasi diba parang ayaw ng mag-ayos and maging modernize, you know,to go with the trend. my mom jokes on wanting to get butt implants! haha

shai said...

oh well, they have the money and they're so full of themselves so let them...

sana lang hindi mabulok ang mga laman laman nila after 10 or 15 years!

bwahahahah!

charles ravndal said...

I havent tried the laser stuff yet since for now I am all natural. meaning using some fruit juices and milk. I even tried milkbath once and it does wonders to your skin.

Yeah she has and she told me during college she always carry books since guys tend to stare

Kat said...

i've seen that chick before, as well as countless others who've appeared on other talk shows b/c of their obsession w/ plastic surgery.

i've often whined about getting it for my flabby arms, thighs, and gut, but in reality, i don't think i'd ever do. esp. now that i'm a mom! i've often wondered how the hell these peopel could afford it first of all! i can barely pay for the braces i need to get in a few months!

i'm not saying it's wrong, but i don't think you should over-do it either! the only think i'd really love to get done is lasik! but i'm scared (and not a good candidate either =P)

Kai said...

Monai
Hey, thanks!

Deb
I agree. I also think that once they've had something done, there'd always be the feeling of imperfection. About my mom, haha, she's cute. I know our moms are only joking but it's kind of funny that they'd actually consider that, haha.

Shai
Hahaha, malamang.

Charles
Wow, milkbath! I hate the smell of milk so I doubt I'd enjoy that. But if you say that half and half works, I'd probably try, hehehe.

Kat
Exactly! There are a lot more things in the world to problemize instead of a flat chest. These people just love throwing their benjamins to nothings and it's quite sad to be witness to that.

Laureen said...

ahhh, plastic surgery. whoever discovered that medical practice must've been pretty insecure with him or herself. haha.

i, too, am baffled as to why these people would undergo the knife. sometimes even more than necessary. blah.

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